Reluctant But Relentless: Why I’m Finally Claiming the Scholar Within

Dr. A
Jun 9
3 min read

I didn’t set out to become a scholar. I was hesitant, reluctant, even. The title felt too heavy, too academic, too… final. But here I am. And while the road was winding, my natural curiosity made the journey inevitable.

I’ve always asked questions. Big ones. Small ones. The kind that disrupt dinner conversations and stall meetings. That need to ask why and how was never about being difficult—it was my way of making sense of the world. I didn’t know that made me a scholar.

One of my favorite discoveries on my journey to becoming a scholar was discovering the philosophical perspectives and frameworks that describe knowledge. When I was introduced to philosophical theories like postpositivism, subjectivism, constructivism, and pragmatism, I was hooked. I knew I had found my tribe in my doctoral pursuits. Learning the science and approach to knowledge and research solidified my decision.

Allow me a moment longer to share my philosophical perspectives with you, pragmatism and constructivism, that drive my approach to teaching, learning, and being.

🧱 Constructivism: We Build Knowledge Through Experience

Constructivism affirms what I’ve always sensed: that knowledge isn’t handed down—it’s constructed. We make meaning through culture, reflection, dialogue, and struggle. My experiences shape my understanding of the world, just as yours do.

This philosophy freed me from the pressure of chasing objective perfection. It gave me permission to say: My lived experience is data. My reflection is valid. My voice matters.

As a scholar, I honor diverse truths. I know that how we see the world depends on where we’ve stood in it. I believe learning is relational—and meaning is made, not given.

🔧 Pragmatism: Knowledge Should Do Something

But constructivism alone isn’t enough. Enter pragmatism—the belief that the value of an idea lies in its usefulness. Knowledge isn’t sacred because it’s elegant—it’s sacred when it works. When it helps us solve problems, shift mindsets, or take action.

This is where theory meets practice. I don’t just want to ask what is true?—I also want to ask what now?

Pragmatism is my call to turn reflection into results, to ensure that what I study and share makes a difference in the real world. It’s the reason I believe in learning that sticks, ideas that evolve, and scholarship that serves.

❤️ Axiology: What Do I Value?

My values are shaped by both constructivism and pragmatism, creating a philosophy rooted in meaning-making and impact.

From a constructivist lens, I value:

Voice and perspective — Every learner, every community, brings insight shaped by culture and context.
Dialogue and empathy — Knowledge grows through conversation, not monologue.
Authenticity and agency — I honor personal truths and the freedom to explore them.

From a pragmatist lens, I value:

Usefulness over perfection — An idea doesn’t need to be ideal to be helpful.
Flexibility and growth — I believe in adjusting as we learn more.
Action with integrity — Values are only real when they shape what we do.

Together, these values drive my work. I aim to design learning experiences that are both personally meaningful and socially beneficial. That doesn’t just teach, but transform.

💡 The Scholar I’ve Become

Combining these two philosophies has helped me claim a version of scholarship that fits:

I honor individual meaning-making while also asking how knowledge moves us forward.
I value personal truth and practical impact equally.
I embrace the idea that learning is both personal and purposeful, constructed through experience, and judged by its ability to help us live and lead better.

So yes, I was reluctant. But I’m also relentless.

Relentless in my curiosity.

Relentless in my commitment to meaningful learning.

Relentless in believing that scholarship doesn’t have to be abstract to be powerful.

📝 Why This Blog Exists

The Reluctant Scholar is more than a title—it’s a space—a space where deep thought meets real life. A space where I explore the questions that matter, reflect on the theories I wrestle with, and share insights that move beyond the classroom.

If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t quite fit the mold—but you know your thinking is valid, your questions are worth asking, and your ideas are worth testing—this space is for you.

We don’t have to be certain to be serious.

We don’t have to be traditional to be thoughtful.

We can be reluctant but relentless—and still, scholars all the same.

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✍🏾 The Reluctant Scholar